Car horoscope for the week of July 23 to July 29

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  1. Autohoroscope from 23 to 29 July
    • Aries
    • Taurus
    • Twins
    • Cancer
    • a lion
    • Virgo
    • scales
    • Scorpion
    • Sagittarius
    • Capricorn
    • Aquarius
    • Fishes


Eh, wheelbarrows, where you go - you will fall into the clutches of the traffic cops, do not pay off! On the other hand, to be afraid of the patrol, don't go on trips - let's be cheerful and courageous and try to enjoy driving on dusty and bumpy roads. But there is no need to drive iron horses - we remember that in summer cars are especially in need of rest, and they will not refuse water procedures either. And we will try to be attentive at the transitions - strange disheveled guys are jumping on the zebras. Some bipeds are generally similar to Einstein - everything is clear, they are celebrating the founding day of Dubna (this is the town of physicists). Maybe physicists are planning to come up with a perpetual motion machine to ride without nerves and without money.

Auto horoscope from 23 to 29 July

Aries

Aries, how great it is to rush along the night roads, breathe fresh air and scare away bunnies and owls - wake up, you are again tattered in the sun, and the cars behind are already going crazy, and even horns are hoarse from beeping. Although no one will scold you - everyone understands what it is like to be in a two-hour traffic jam. But this situation will not happen again and the road week will be fun. Don't be surprised if you see horsemen galloping dashingly on the sidewalks and shouting that Bolivar won't take two out. And what does the horse have to do with it, because everyone is celebrating the birthday of the national hero of Venezuela. Simon Bolivar was a just politician - if only the traffic cops would take an example from him and become honest.

Taurus

Taurus, green-eyed taxis, patrol cars with red eyes (probably from lack of sleep) - what color is your horse's eyes? Before watching, arm yourself with a clean rag and shampoo - the headlights are dull and need a good wash. And finally shake out the rugs - there is so much underneath. And sweets, receipts, and even money - pick up, there are a lot, maybe you can scrape together for gasoline. When you meet thin bearded men, be careful - give them a lift, feed them, warm them up. Suddenly, the guys celebrating Dumas's birthday reread The Count of Monte Cristo and decided to look for the treasure. Maybe the jewelry is already stuffed into the pockets, and they will pay you not in banknotes, but in gold ?!

Twins

Twins, insurance, an anti-theft device, child seats, a first aid kit, glowing vests - the list of necessities goes on and on, and how is the driver's head still swollen? Also, the rules must be repeated endlessly, and the road must be followed, but no problems are expected in these July days. The machine copes with troubles easily and naturally - get out, even the traffic cops turn away when they see the pleased face of your iron horse. And sometimes look into the sky - people celebrate the summer day of the parachutist, and some dashing guys land on the road, then on the sidewalk, or even on the trunk (and a gentle car does not like it when someone else jumps on it).

Cancer

Cancers, there are many recipes for road happiness, but the drivers of your sign have a simple formula - a straight track plus fair traffic cops, multiplied by intelligently experienced road users. You can go in any direction, but do not forget to close the windows - flies have become more active during this summer period. And what do they want? The heavenly bodies have found out the reason for the revival. Everyone remembers the Czech painter and theater artist - Alfons Mucha has his birthday in July. It is not clear from which side the insects are here, but the stars have warned you. You can hang mosquito nets - there seems to be no ban, so give it a try. Only do not use tulle curtains - you do not roll out in the carriage, although, who knows you.

A lion

Lions, fancy displays are good, but when they are overloaded with information, chauffeurs start to use foul language - think about it at your leisure. In the meantime, drive towards the village - the name is not important, as long as your familiar drivers live there. Chat, discuss new car laws, wash the bones of the authorities - maybe they will get tired of hiccupping and return the previous gasoline prices. And buy something from old women who sell mushrooms, berries and country delicacies by the road - grandmothers celebrate the day of trade workers. Well, let them sell goods unofficially and without any documents, but everything is tasty and fresh (and does not even have time to get saturated with exhaust gases).

Virgo

Virgins, oh, what silky covers you have, what a smooth steering wheel, what an obedient engine - the stars did not ride at night in your car, they just dropped in to check. These July days you will get a lot of pleasure and enjoy any trip - even to work, even to the beach, or even to the market for tomatoes. By the way, about tomatoes - the first red goodies have already gone, so skip the grandmothers on the zebras so that they don't throw vegetables at you in a fit of anger (although it’s unlikely, the gifts from the garden are very expensive nowadays). And do not be angry with the traffic cops if they poke their attention into your salon with a magnifying glass - the guys celebrate the day when they first used fingerprints in forensic science. Let them amuse themselves - maybe they will grow kinder.

Scales

Libra, it's good when the car just left the factory - your head doesn't hurt at all, go for a drive, and renew the wheels on ideal roads. But the stars know that you will not trade your favorite horse for an expensive SUV or a sophisticated and improved patrol car. Still, because you have a complete understanding, you can not even turn the steering wheel - the machine itself knows where and when to turn. If in these July days you meet business pedestrians with fanned fingers, and even figurines on their feet, do not rush to sound threateningly honking and grumbling. The guys are quite adequate, they just celebrate the birthday of Igor Krutoy. Turn on the radio and you will find out for yourself.

Scorpion

Scorpios, during this summer period your friends and acquaintances will forget that drivers should not be distracted while driving - you will have to turn off the phone so that they do not call every minute and invite you to the dacha, the beach and the forest picnic. You already have enough adventures. It is enough to look at the traffic cops - they grabbed logs instead of wands and slowed down the drivers, finding out if Pope Carlo was among them. The guys remember the wonderful actor - Yuri Katin-Yartsev played many roles, but we especially remember Giuseppe from the movie "The Adventures of Buratino". Everyone celebrates the birthday of the Soviet artist - it's good that the patrolmen didn't dress up in Cat Basilio, otherwise we would be left without funds.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius, in these July days a green traffic light is shining for you - the machine has agreed, and greedy traffic cops and stupid bipeds have been removed from the roads. But it is better to observe the speed limit - you are the most responsible drivers among the other signs of the zodiac (minor violations do not count, and the stars will not tell anyone about them). When you roll a couple of hundred kilometers, stop by to visit the repairmen - the machine dreams of massaging the insides. And while your car is being treated, walk on foot - it is not boring on the sidewalks these days either. Here and there you come across guys in straitjackets - stay away from them, psychos celebrate Carl Jung's birthday and load pedestrians with quotes from the works of a famous psychiatrist.

Capricorn

Capricorns, the stars do not have enough words to describe the state of the roads, and why look for phrases - one obscene expression is enough (we will do without details). By the way, do not ride alone these July days and recruit more passengers - sit next to your talkative friend, and let your colleagues and your boss stick out from behind, everything is more fun.If only the traffic cops do not decide that you are working as a cab driver, they say that soon it will not be possible to take companions (unless relatives with the same surname). If you are slowed down, do not rush to answer the question "what are we going to do?" The patrol guys celebrated Chernyshevsky's birthday, re-read the novel "What to do" and only remembered the name.

Aquarius

Aquarians, our gasoline - your money. This phrase has long been out of date. Now it is better to use the expression - any gasoline for your savings. You look, and the car will have to be sold in order to buy a liter of fuel. The question is - where to fill it then ?! The stars apologize for having gone deep into road policy again, and advise not to hang up, not to tear off the steering wheel and not to put the wheelbarrow up for sale - we will still fight and drive for pleasure. Until then, go about your business. If you meet young guys in ties, don't be surprised at the colors - these are not pioneers, but scouts. 111 years ago, a scout movement was founded in England - let them run on the sidewalks, we do not mind (as long as the rules are not broken).

Fishes

Pisces, both joys and disappointments await you these July days. In general, everything is as usual. There will be adventures, and road affairs, and even meeting with charming traffic cops - yes, and such guys come across among the patrol guys. In general, buckle up, step on the pedal and rush into the blue distance (or into the lilac, as you like). When you notice strangely pale pedestrians, do not rush to call an ambulance - the guys are fine, they just rarely walk the streets. But now they decided to take a walk and celebrate their holiday of the System Administrator. Without the hard workers of the invisible front, we would not have been able to enter the Internet either - just do not signal in honor of the system administrators, they are very impressionable.

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